Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Night in the Construction Zone.

So true.

I was snuggled in bed and I was about to drift off to sleep, having been somewhat successful in the pursuit of shutting my always-talking mind off, when I had the thought "Poop. I left the front door open.". Not the screen door, just the front door but it was unlocked and now I was having visions of being robbed or someone stealing my daughter from her bed and other happy thoughts.... *sigh* "I'm going to have to get up aren't I?" I mutter to myself as I find the will to move.

SO out of bed I roll. Beginning at the side of my bed I step over several plastic boxes of craft stuff which are there because we're working on the craft closet. I step on the dog (sorry Maisy) and into a laundry basket full of clothes whereupon I get to my bedroom door which won't open all the way since the chair is shoved against it because we're painting the trim on the wall where the chair belongs.

I squeeze out my bedroom door and bump into some trim leaning against the wall. The trim makes a loud clattering sound when I bump it, which I don't worry about because my family can sleep through a category five tornado. Then I start to make my way down the hall.

First I step around the shop-vac and scrape my foot against the tools on the floor. Then I narrowly miss gouging my hip on the boxes of flooring stacked on the side of the hall. Next I step on the dog (Sorry Ma.... wait, I just did that, how did she get here?) and now I come to the end of the hall which is blocked by a stack of two by sixes on one side and twelve-foot drywall on the other.

I then have to simultaneously step over the two-by-sixes while squeezing around the drywall and I'm nearly successful but I miss a little and get the edge of the drywall in the chest. Now I am in the living room and I can see the open front door. Whew! I'm almost there.

I step over the other vacuum (why are there two up here?) and bruise my shin on the microwave which is sitting on the floor of the living room (we're working on the kitchen, that's why). I move several bags of beach stuff out of the way and close the front door.... almost.... "What in heaven's name is in the way?, Oh" I move Isaac's shoes and then I close the door. PHEW!!! Mission accomplished.

I turn to head back to my room when it occurs to me that anyone trying to break into this house would be seriously injured before they even reach the hall. "And that is the upside to this disaster." I say aloud and oddly pleased with the thought of kidnappers with broken femurs and concussions, I pick my way back down the hall to my room.

Having successfully negotiated the obstacle course, I am now standing beside my bed listening to Hun snore. I realize that now that I'm fully awake I will be laying next to him for hours waiting for the next snore, getting angrier and angrier as I do. I will tell him to "roll over" and "stop snoring" several times and neither of us will get a good night's sleep. I won't sleep because I'll be so agitated with the noise and he won't because he's vaguely aware of the waves of annoyance rolling across the bed towards him.

SO, I take my pillow and head back over the plastic boxes. I do not step on Maisy (who has wisely removed herself from my path of pain) and I do not step into the laundry basket or bump the trim because I know where they are now and I head into Lucie's room.

"Ouch! Oooch! Eeeach! Owie!" I say as I step on all of the Barbie shoes and Littlest Pet shop accessories which are lodged in the shag carpet of Lucie's floor. I shove toys out of the way and start to roll the trundle from under her bed. I had thought that I had cleared a path but then I hear "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BANG! POINNNNNNNNNNNNNNG as Lucie's guitar slides strings-down along her desk and hit's the floor with a resonating thud. I don't worry about this because my family can sleep through the end of the world.

I climb into Lucie's trundle and am drifting off to sleep when I hear thudding and muttering coming from the other room. Roger appears at the door and says "Did you close the front door? I just heard a noise!" "That was me knocking over Lucie's guitar." I say (Apparently I was wrong about sleeping through anything). "Oh" he says and heads back to bed. The irony might amuse me but I'm tired. My last thought as I close my eyes is "If we have a fire we're going to have to jump out the windows so the firemen won't hurt themselves when they rescue us."

Tomorrow Lucie the bored will be guest blogging about her nice nighttime visitors.


  1. I haven't seen a new post in a week. I am going through withdrawal. Please! I need a fix!

  2. Literally laughing until...ow, yes, that's the split side!!! ~ekb

  3. Thanks Eric! I have to laugh too or else I'd cry.


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