Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Chaos Fairy

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Oh, hi. Sorry I'm late. That's pretty typical for me. My family has "The Heather Factor", which is a complicated algorithm for figuring out what time I'll actually arrive somewhere based upon the wording we used to set the time. Like I said, it's complicated.

OK, so, The Chaos Fairy is my DH's nickname for yours truly. Not only am I fairly disorganized (I'm getting better) but I can take an organized space and create chaos in about fifteen minutes. I don't actually try to do this, it's not my goal to be messy, it just sort of happens. Hun even has the Chaos Fairy Song which is hysterically funny, for about two minutes, then it gets annoying and I have to threaten him with washing all his white t-shirts with a pair of new red socks.

Beautiful office... These usually start with the sentence
"Turn an unused closet into a lovely office."
Bwa ha ha ha, unused closet, so funny.
Photo from

...and for my next act I will hide my keys on myself.

Yep, I'm very talented at hiding things on myself. Not only do I hide things on myself, but I get flustered looking for them and I forget the name of the item. Complicated words like keys, wallet, purse and jacket. Because of this, part of Hun's job is to be able to interpret the words thingy, whosie-whatsit, do-honkis and thing-a-ma-bob, which I use randomly in place of the name of the item I've lost. Fortunately for Hun I usually make a hand motion to indicate what I'm looking for. The conversation goes like this: Me - "Arrrgh! Roger, I can't find my.... my.... you know the thingy (I say as I make a twisting motion with my hand). Roger - "Do you mean your keys?" Me - (sheepishly) "Yeah, my keys."

The pinnacle of mudroom-ly-ness. How I covet thee.
Photo from Better Homes and Gardens
A Place for Everything and Pfft, Whatever.

Yeah, if I had a nickle for every time someone has said to me (often in a sing-song-y voice) "A place for everything and everything in its place" I'd have, well, at least five dollars. So far I have managed, with great restraint, not to respond with "WOW! I can't BELIEVE it's THAT EASY! Let me go home and do that RIGHT NOW!" Yes, thank you Pythagoras, that's soooo helpful. I mean, don't get me wrong, the saying is true but just like "Eat Less, Move More" and "Just Quit (fill in your vice of choice) it's not that simple (is anything ever that simple?). My house and I have some major hurdles to get over; for example, everything can't have a place because we keep tearing down walls. What's more, I often have paralysis by analysis because I can't decide where an item's designated place should be. To further complicate the issue, just because an item has a place is no guarantee that I will remember to put it back.... Did I mention that I was getting better?

I actually own the pop-top canisters,
for the record, owning them does not make you organized.
Weeder Outer Extraordinaire

Despite all this I will never be featured on Hoarders. I am not a pack rat. I'm extremely good at weeding out my stuff. So much so that some of my friends and family await the times that I weed out because they get some pretty nice stuff. In fact, I'm so good at weeding out that I've actually moved out of places with less stuff than I had when I moved in. I regularly hear the words from friends "You should come to my house and help me!" and I would if I could find my keys...

Anyway, the few times that I've managed to be organized happened when we had very little stuff and having very little stuff is how I like it.  You're reading the blog of a woman with only seven pairs of shoes and I have no desire to have more, for reals.

Photo from Affordable Housing Institute

So, you may be wondering what is the point of this "I'm a messy person" expose. Actually, it's not a secret, you figure it out pretty quickly if you drop in for a surprise visit. The point is that as I'm working on the house, I will also be attempting to organize it in a way that actually works for me. Don't think "House Beautiful" that will never happen, think "kindergarten classroom".  So, if you're a fellow messy, maybe my adventures will help. Hopefully, I'll figure it out. I'll also be trying to figure out how to maximize our storage so we can fit what we keep neatly into our mini-house. Today I'm making my own drawer dividers which I'll post about tomorrow so cross your fingers for me. Until then, I'll leave you with the cutest linen closet ever.

It even has cute little tags. 
See you tomorrow,


  1. Yup. It's all true. :)

  2. I don't have time to be so organized! lol! I think you may have to start a new club? the Chaos Fairy club?! I'll be in it in a heartbeat! Nice to meet you via BYW - I'm also in Maine! -kg

  3. Nice to meet you too! Yeah, I'd admire people who are organized but it's just beyond me.

    "The Chaos Fairies," we could have lopsided wings but we wouldn't have wands because we lost them. Hee, hee. I think it has potential.

  4. Perhaps we were twins separated at birth? I try so hard yet somehow it all turns to chaos no matter what I do.


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