(Yes, I'm Back) Ode to a Flooded Basement

(Yes indeed, I'm back, we'll call this "coming full circle." I'll tell you more later, but first, a poem.)

I don't know what you do when your basement floods but I write a poem. Unfortunately my poetic inspiration is limited to Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss. Anyway, without further adieu I give you:

Ode to a Flooded Basement

One warm and misty morn I woke

And much to my surprise,

Upon my morning rounds I saw

The tide’s begun to rise.

“Are you beside the shore?” You ask

“Down beside the Sea?”

“Why no” I answer for alas,

The tide has come to me.

For down upon my basement steps

This morning I did tread,

Where I surveyed the dampened room

Which filled my heart with dread

For long ago a silly man

Whose motives aren’t quite clear,

Believed he should assign himself

The role of engineer.

And looking down upon the pit

Designed for the foundation,

He had the rather clever thought

Which needed exploration.

Sure it was a cellar

But its purpose could be dual,

For where most could see a cellar

He could see a swimming pool!

“I can see it now!” he then exclaimed

And then he made the statement,

“We have only but to drain

The water INTO the basement!

The people who will buy this house

Will surely be delighted

To have a springtime swimming pool

For friends to be invited!”

No one on the job site dared

To offer up dissension,

Because this man was just so pleased

With his clever new invention.

“Everyone will want one!

This is sure to be a hit!

I’ll call it ‘The Cellar Swimming Pool’

I’ll need to patent it.”

And thus it was our house became

The prototype du jour,

As he would install four more drains

Which ended in the floor.

Now every wet and soggy day

As the room begins to flood

We’d like to have him for a swim

And drown the stupid dud.

Well, we don't really want to drown him. Just make him stand there in bare feet for a while.

Happy Hump Day to all! May your basements, if you have them, be dry.

H

The Bizarre Thought Process of a Skilled Procrastinator

It's OK if you tell me that I'm crazy after you read this.

It's also OK if you tell me that you can totally relate, we're not judgy here at Home Again Jog.

At any given time I have stuff to do that falls into four categories:

1. Daily routine stuff like laundry, cleaning, dishes etc... These are both necessary and productive and I really hate doing them.
2. Things that I need to do and want to do, like my classwork... This is also a productive use of my time.
3. Things that are fun to do that I don't actually need to do like the various craft projects... These are not an unproductive use of my time but they aren't technically my first priority.
4. One - time things that I really hate to do but I have to do because they're holding something up, like painting woodwork or mudding drywall... These are the worst because they're usually messy, boring, or fiddly or a combination of the three.

Now, a "normal" person (I have never actually met a normal person but I assume they're out there) would look at those categories and say something like "I'll get my housework done, then I'll paint some woodwork. After that I'll do a craft and tonight I'll do some schoolwork after the kids are in bed." or something like that.

But I am far from normal.

My mind says this: "YOU MUST DO YOUR HOUSEWORK BEFORE YOU START ANYTHING ELSE!!!" I don't know why, but it does. Weird right?

But I really hate housework. The reasons for this are straightforward: 1. it is never done (at least in this house) and 2. the "construction zone" themed decor never gives me a sense of satisfaction when I'm done... actually it makes it really difficult to tell when I'm done. I mean, have you ever tried to determine when a sub-floor in a kitchen is clean? It's not easy. I never get to look around and say "my what a pretty room :-)" because partially mudded drywall is never pretty. Yeah waa waa, poor me.

So this is what happens:

• My mind says that I have to do housework before anything else, HOWEVER,
• I hate housework. I feel like I need to get behind myself and shove myself off the couch to do it. SO
• Since I have to do housework first, but I really don't want to do housework do you know what I do? (if you said "something from categories 2, 3, or 4,?" you would be absolutely wrong.)

I am here, on my laptop, on the internet. Hello! I'm here! :-)
or now that we have cable (hooray. Yes, read that as sarcasm) I might be watching a Criminal Minds rerun, or locking my door thereafter.

Ironically, doing anything, even fun craft-type projects would be a better use of my time than checking Facebook again, for the millionth time. But I actually have to remind myself of this and I have to have the thought occur to me before I can even do that.

Yeah, it's weird. Thus the title of the post.

In light of this revelation brought to me by the wonders of metacognition*, I think I'm going to clean the living room enough so I can take some pictures in it without causing you to run screaming from your screen, and make Lu's bulletin board that I blogged about yesterday. I might even get to posting those pictures today (don't hold your breath though). OK,  for the record I have done some laundry today because my son asked me to do some (I'll take special requests for housework under threat of impending nudity.)

Do any of you have weird procrastination thought processes? Have you ever thought about it before? Hmmm....

I might see you later today,
H

*Metacognition is thinking about how you think. It's your $50.00 word for the day ;-)

Thrift-Store Landscape Re-vamp

My friend Amy posted this on Facebook and it's so awesome that I had to share.

You know how there are often landscape paintings a'la Bob Ross in thrift stores? (Remember Bob and his "happy little trees?" Here he is in case you forgot.)

Well artist Chris McMahon breathes new life into these thrift store finds... in a way that I find absolutely awesome!

Yes, Chris McMahon adds monsters to thrift store landscape paintings. He is my new hero.

Color me impressed.

I really like this one...

The fuzzy ice monster. Illustrating that they don't have to be scary.

I think this one is my favorite.

According to Twisted Sifter, the trick to doing this yourself is to determine which type of paint was used in the original and match it. Of course you probably should know something about painting and have a vision for a monster too, but I guess that goes without saying.

So, as you can see, I'm back. I'm energized and happy to be here and I'm going to be sharing lots of fun stuff with you.

Oh, also, if you would let me know if you think "Tacky Crafts with Heather" would be a fun monthly feature here on HAJ, I would greatly appreciate it. You can vote yes/no in the poll above, or if you have more thoughts, you can comment or tell me on HAJ on Facebook, I only want to do it if you'd like to see it, so let me know.

Ah, it's good to be back!
See you soon,
H

My Night

My night:

1. 9:30 PM - think about going to bed.
2. 9:35 PM - decide to watch two more "Sons of Guns" on Netflix.
3. 10:30 PM - appreciate the craftsmanship of gun-making, affirm that, despite that appreciation, I still will never let one in the house, decide to go to bed.
4. 11:30 PM - drift off to sleep
5. 1:30 AM - Lucie is cold and climbs into bed with me
6. 1:45 AM - I am too hot and I'm trying to sleep with both arms over my head, sandwiched in between Hun and Lu the bed hog.
7. 2:00 AM - I'm still awake
8. 2:05 AM - I give up, take my pillow and climb into Lu's bed.
9. 2:25 AM - I'm thinking about all of the projects I have left in her room
10. 2:45 AM - her bed is soft and making my joints ache
11. 3:07 AM - shuffle out to the kitchen to take four ibuprofen.
12. 3:10 AM - become annoyed that it looks like I'll be starting my Monday sleep-deprived
13. 3: 30 AM - the ibuprofen has made my aches go away but seems to be burning a hole in my stomach
14. 3:37 AM - shuffle out to the kitchen to eat a banana
15. 3:45 AM - begin having angry, sarcastic thoughts toward the sleeping members of my household "I hope you all are ENJOYING YOUR SLEEP."
16. 3:51 AM - the banana isn't cutting it, shuffle back out to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal
17. 4:20 AM - at least I'm not in pain.... I'm not asleep either
18. 4:45 AM - completely lose perspective - "I CAN'T TAKE A NAP UNTIL WEDNESDAY!!! MY WEEK IS RUINED."
19. 5:15 AM - the angry thoughts and lost perspective turn to violent thoughts - "Let's see how well they sleep if I pinch them!"
20. 5:30 AM - "♫ ♪ Nobody knows the trouble I seeeeeen, Nobody knows my sorrow.♪ ♫
21. 6:05 AM - Make mental lists of everything that I won't get done this week because I'm soooooo tired.
22. 6:30 AM - reclaim my bed, kick Lu out and send her back to her bed.
23. 6:35 AM - fall sound asleep
24. 7:38 AM - awaken to "Mom.... mom.... I have to go to school soon...." *evil look from me* "OK, OK mom, you can sleep for a few more minutes
25. 7:43 AM - try to get up
26. 7:46 AM - try again
27. 7:49 AM - third time's a charm
28. 7:51 AM - make sure that I remind Lu several times that my sleep deprivation is her fault.
29. 8:10 AM - she has both hugged me and said "sorry" and then laughed at me.... twit.
30. 8:16 AM - head out to the car and notice the beautiful weather
31. 8:20 AM - drop Lu off and decide that the day might be redeemable.
32. 9:00 AM - start writing this post
33. 9:45 AM - realize that I'm still not going to get to nap until Wednesday.

CCA - Compulsive Container Acquisition

Hello and Happy Monday!

Today I would like to discuss a phenomenon which, I believe, is common to many people with organizational difficulties. It's called Compulsive Container Acquisition or CCA for short (Okay, I made all of that up, but I still think I'm onto something)

The underlying belief of someone with CCA is that containers magically bestow organization. If you could just acquire the correct vessels for your schtuff, you would be organized. Now, most of us know that there's more to it than that, but gosh, it doesn't stop us from trying. I thought I would show six different types of containers represented in my house, and the thought behind their acquisition.

The thought behind acquiring cute containers is simple: "If the containers are cute then I will be inspired to use them." Since four of these containers are currently being used to corral stuff at my house I might think that there is something to that... were it not for the fact that I gave away about ten that I didn't use a few months ago. My personal experience is that "cute" and "organized" are not synonymous. This was confirmed when I checked the Thesaurus. What cute containers are is fun to buy! Then you end up with cute container clutter which kinda defeats the purpose.

Oh expensive. I think the thought behind buying expensive containers is that there must be a positive correlation between money spent and usefulness. "They're expensive so they have to work!" No, no they really don't.

If expensive was good, well free is AWESOME! It's like the gift of organization just fell from the sky and into your hands. "Free organizing containers! I can't POSSIBLY pass those up." I got these from my sister T over the weekend. She's organized, she used them. I'm not organized, I have no specific plan for them... They sure are cool though.

This one may be peculiar to people who live far away from IKEA. The IKEA container acquisition goes something like this: "What? You're going to IKEA? I HAVE to put an order in! hmmmm, what do I need? what might I need? Who knows? I know! I'll cover my bases by getting one of each."

Matching containers provide a sense of unity which must provide order, right? I mean, you can line them all up in neat little rows, that's organized isn't it? The problem for someone like me is that I try to put EVERYTHING into a matching plastic box. "Mom where are the tissues?" "In their plastic box." "Heather, where's the dog?" "In her plastic box."

"Recommended" meaning that someone who is considered an expert in organizing recommends a particular item. As soon as they do that, us non-organized people see that item as having the "Fabulous Organizer Seal of Approval." It's like being recommended by Oprah. It means that container is magical. If you buy it, you must be organized. How could you not? The organizing expert has it and they are. Makes perfect sense to me.

For the record, I have specific plans for all most some okay two of these containers. They are they key to being organized. I know it.

So there you go. Six types of containers acquired by those of us with CCA. Can you think of any I missed?

See you tomorrow!
H

The Rushed Morning Poem

Once upon a morn I'm rising,
Late again and I'm surmising,
Someone shut the alarm off and then tossed it on the floor.
"You shut it off while you're unconscious!"
I say loudly as Hun launches
Out of bed as he rushes madly to the door.
"Oh my gosh I need a shower,
And my work starts in an hour!
That alarm clock needs more power
To help me cease my nightly snore!"
An air-horn feature, maybe more.

Now it's time for kids to waken
A tardy slip is what's at stake when
We fail to get our keisters promptly out into the car
"Mom there are clean socks I'm needing,
And a book for noon-time reading!"
"Where's my homework?" they start pleading.
At this rate I fear we won't get far.
School on Wednesday's not surprising.
And now it seems I'm improvising,
What alternatives am I devising,
For the things we need to give the day a normal start?
Getting somewhere timely? Well, it seems to be an art.

So down around the floor I'm searching
My lack of planning now I'm cursing
Why didn't I do laundry when I had the time before?
"Hey look a sock!" It seems I found one,
"Here's another!" Is my task done?
They don't match, I yell at no one:
"It's just some matching socks I'm asking for!"
I've had a thought, now I'm elated!
"Matching socks are overrated.
"Who cares if right and left aren't mated?
You see that's what your shoes and pants are for!
Hiding mismatched socks found on the floor."

Now it seems we're getting frantic,
No food for lunch just makes us panic,
And I have no time to run out to the store.
What is this "lunch" of which you speak?
I think it's bound to be unique,
Creative lunches are a treat!
Here I open wide the cabinet door.
Cereal should be just fine.
Leftover bacon is sublime.
And darn it all is that the time?
I tell you normal lunches are a bore
We won't be serving normal any more.

Oh no! Upon the clock my eye
Falls, I see we have to fly!
"Let's get a move on since we've gone too slow before!"
"Turn the tube off!" I say nearly shouting,
"We've got three minutes!" (but who's counting?)
"Let's move faster, the second's mounting!"
Our time management skills are really poor.
"Come on let's get our butts in gear!
We really must get out of here!
We're going to be late again I fear."
So finally we all run out the door.
A smooth-running morning would be such a bore.

Lucie's Room "To Do" List (and some reality)

Ahhh, reality. It's an oft' discussed issue among bloggers. Do we show you the reality? Do we "put our best foot forward" so to speak? I've heard that some people only have a best foot, so when you read their blogs, and everything looks perfect, that's actually how they live. (I am impressed by these people... or I would be if I knew any personally... although, I secretly suspect that I might irritate the snot out of them.)

Anyway, I go with showing the reality, especially since showing my "best foot" is a problem because it's always in need of a pedicure.

To that end, I am going to give you the list of things I need to do to finish Lucie's room, along with pics of her room in its current state. Enjoy!

1. CLEAN... (good, we got that out of the way)

It starts by removing all of the toys from the boxes to make "rooms" for her Monster High" dolls.

Sewing projects:

1. Purl Bee ball pillow
2. Skull pillow
3. Rose pillow
4. Cushion
5. Shades
6. Shams
7. Pouf

Where does all the stuff go? Well, it gets smooshed into the drawer for one.

Construction projects:

1. Finish woodwork
2. Paint woodwork
3. Finish Drawer

When I said "into the drawer" I didn't mean to infer that all of it went into the drawer...

Craft projects:

1. Bulletin board
2. Cover the cushion of the chair above
3. Create tags and some storage items
4. Charging station

Isn't that a pretty chair? It's right there... In front of you... What do you mean you can't see it?
It's like "Where's Waldo" only with a chair.

Other projects:

1. Touch up desk
2. Paint nightstand
3. Try cutting down the rug
4. Touch up walls

I'm going to attempt to cut that rug down a little... once I unearth it.
Lucie LOVES to make stuff out of duct tape, including a mess.

Finally - weed out and organize. 

Believe it or not, it's pretty well weeded, it's just everything is out, all over the floor, where else would it be? 

HA! How's THAT for reality! Welcome to my humble abode ;-p

See you tomorrow,

H

I Stink At - Tutorials!

My DH is a Project Manager and Business Analyst. Part of his work as a B.A. (Business Analyst in case you didn't catch that) is describing business functions as processes. He's good at it too. He even has a quote that he uses often:

"If you can't describe what you're doing as a process then you don't know what you're doing."

Unfortunately, if that's true, then it means that I never have any idea what I'm doing.

I used to be somewhat irritated by that quote. "Well that can't be right," (I'd say) "because I do all kinds of stuff and I can't describe any of it as a process... Whoever said that was obviously an idiot." However, upon further reflection, I realized that the quote may not be entirely wrong. In fact it may be true that I really don't know what I'm doing most of the time.

The great example of this was about ten years ago when I took up knitting. I decided to try it and, as it turned out, I actually liked it. So Hun, (not afraid to take up a domestic art) asked me to teach him how. There was one "lesson" and it went something like this:

"OK, so you take the yarn and wrap it twice around your fingers like this. Then you... oh, wait... no, that's not it, hold on............................... OK, OK you take the yarn and wrap it around your finger once, like this and..... No, no, that's not it, hold on a sec................................. ALRIGHT! I've got it! You take the yarn and wrap it twice around two fingers like this and then you put the needle through and, huh..... nope, that's not it either........ AH HA! Now I've got it! You take the yarn and then you wrap it once around two fingers and then you........ darn it, that's wrong too.... OK, give me a sec...... Hey, where are you going?"

That was me trying to explain how to make a slip knot, we hadn't even gotten to the casting on part yet. Hun put down the needles, calmly walked away, and made a solemn vow right there and then to never touch knitting again as long as he lived. Not only did I fail to teach him but I managed to instill a loathing of knitting which remains to this very day. Go me!

It's very strange. I'm a pretty crafty person (as in "does crafts" as opposed to sneaky). I seem to be able to make all kinds of things. Things that I like, things that I use, all around nice things. However, the minute I try to tell someone HOW I did it I'm toast. I've been trying to figure out why I can make things but I can't explain how I do it.

After some reflection I came to the conclusion that the reason may lie in my method. "What method is that?" you may ask, "Why, the Wing It method." I reply. Yes, the good ole "Wing It" method, where I get something in my head or see a project and make it without really learning how. Looking back over some of my projects, especially the projects where I made multiples of the same item, it occurs to me that I may not have made any of them the same way twice.

Now, as you might imagine, this poses a problem when the time comes to explain what I did. "How did you make that?" someone asks "Ummmmmmm, hmmmmmmm" I respond ever so intelligently. Yessir, it turns out that "if you can't explain what you're doing as a process then you don't know what you're doing" is spot on. It doesn't necessarily prevent you from doing things but it does prevent you from claiming you know what you're doing.

To further complicate the issue, I'm really terrible at following steps and I'm even worse at creating them. I never know what to do first, (which is probably why my attempts to do so many things look pretty ridiculous funny to anyone watching). Logic is not my strong point. What's more, I'm fairly certain that if I gave you directions, if you were a crafty person, you would find a better way. You might even ask me why I did it the way I did when your way was so much easier? I would be forced to tell you that I didn't even think of that and you would be forced to conclude that I wasn't qualified to be writing tutorials, and you would be right. Do you want that to happen? I certainly don't!

The practical outworking of all of this is simple: I will not be offering tutorials on Home Again Jog. I'm actually afraid that if I tried you'd end up so frustrated and furious that you'd leave and never come back (I already have tutorial abandonment issues). I will gladly share pictures of my projects, I will be delighted to give you the sources for the materials, but we will all be much happier if I refrain from giving you directions. The truth is I have no idea how I did it so I cannot possibly tell you.

See, not doing tutorials is actually my gift to you! You're welcome.
H

Weeding the closet: A Real-Time Account

1. Walk to the closet & open the door, close the door & go have a piece of chocolate.

2. One hour later, open the door again, remove a suitcase, close the door & have a look at the internet.

3. Another hour later, open the door, and begin removing the contents.

4. Realize I have no actual plan for what to do with the contents. Have another chocolate while I contemplate that conundrum.

5. Head to the basement to locate a plastic bin or two to hold closet contents.

6. Return to the closet and finish removing contents. Stack said contents haphazardly about the living room.

7. Pontificate about what possessed me to buy a plastic snowball maker and snow brick maker.
7a. Be reminded by my mother that it was she who purchased these items, which were on Lucie's Christmas list, at my request. (There you go mum.)

8. Realize there are several spiders in the closet and fetch the vacuum.

9. Vacuum the spiders.

10. Take a moment to collect myself while wondering if spider encounter aftermath is a legitimate reason to ask for a prescription of Xanax.

11. Decide it's not while surveying the closet.

12. Decide the closet is horrifying and must be painted.

HORRIFYING!!!! I don't think it was painted or cleaned since 1973.

13. Return to the basement to locate a brush and primer.

14. Take a few moments to decide if I really want to paint or if I just want to weed.

15. Oh, what the heck, I'll paint.

16. Remember that I am wearing clothes that don't have paint on them.

17. Decide not to change.

18. Prime the woodwork in the closet.

19. Look at my clothes and realize that I, wonder of wonders, didn't get any paint on them.

20. Decide not to tempt fate with a second coat in these clothes.

21. Apply the second coat of primer but this time in painting clothes.

The bright white primer just makes the walls look worse.

22. Drag the closet pole to the front lawn to spray paint.

23. Back to the basement. Where is the spray paint?

24. Fifteen minutes of searching later, I begin to spray paint the closet pole.

25. Step back and admire the new white stripe of grass on the front lawn

26. Feel harmony restored as the front of the house becomes less pristine.

27. Contemplate whether my new "stair climbing" workout actually counts as I return to the basement to locate the paint.

28. The paint isn't in the basement.

29. Retrieve paint from the end of the hall.

30. Apply first coat to the woodwork.

31. Have an epiphany "The closet will have more use-able space if I DON'T replace the pole but use hooks instead."

32. Leave the half painted pole on the lawn.

33. Apply the second coat of paint to the woodwork.

Now the walls look REALLY bad. The woodwork is looking nice though.

34. Remember that I should have taken a "before" picture.

35. Opt to take a "during" picture instead.

36. Realize that I can't take a good picture because the closet is a. dark and b. cramped.

37. Take pictures anyway.

38. Ponder which paint to use for the walls.

39. Make the paint choice based on proximity because I don't want to haul another paint can from the basement.

40. Aaaaaand BACK TO THE BASEMENT to rummage for painting equipment.

41. Apply first coat of Disney's Hundred Acre Raindrops to the closet walls.

42. Immediately apply second coat to the walls - I'm on a roll now.

MUCH BETTER!

43. Step back and admire my newly painted closet.

44. Turn to face its contents strewn about the living room.

45. Weep and die.

46. Just kidding.

47. Bravely begin to sort contents into - Ooooh My Clothbound Classic version of Dracula just arrived!

I collect Penguin's Clothbound Classics series.
They make FANTASTIC gifts for book-lovers.

48. Four hours later think about starting again.

49. Another chapter later resume sorting.

50. Pack up Goodwill stuff and figure out what boxes I need for the stuff I'm putting back.

51. In a completely uncharacteristic move, run errands efficiently, both dropping off Goodwill THE SAME DAY that I made the pile whilst* picking up the new bins which are on sale.

52. Wonder "Who am I and what have I done with me?"

53. Mull over whether or not I'd know if I'd been replaced by a robot.

54. In a completely characteristic move, I arrive home and leave everything in the car.

55. Phew! No need to worry, I'm obviously still me.

56. Face the closet again to measure where the hooks should go.

57. Locate the drill.

58. Locate the correct bit.

59. Correct bit - take two.

60. Start putting the hooks up.

61. Notice that they are slightly crooked.

62. Admit that I have no intention of fixing that.

63. Delude myself by saying crooked hooks add character.

64. Finish the hooks and admire the closet.

Hooks with coats

65. Turn my attention to the floor, the last bastion of the horrible, disgusting, smelly, vile, repulsive, (no, I'm not done) uh... GROSS (there, needed one more) black carpet padding.

66. To the basement to find a paint scraper.

67. To the kitchen for two more pieces of chocolate.

68. To the closet to begin scraping.

69. Briefly consider locating the guy, who thought gluing carpet padding to the sub-floor was a good idea, so I can kick him in the knee-cap.

70. Conclude that it would be a waste of time because it's been almost forty years and kicking an old guy isn't nice.

71. Marvel at how horrifically smelly and nasty this padding is.

72. Pause to see of "Big Hoss" is going to make an offer on the 1981 Pacman arcade game.

73. Finish scraping and take 5 on the couch.

74. It still smells gross.

75. Must find the source of the horrible smell.

76. Realize that it isn't the carpet or the closet.

77. Oh, it's Hun's old sneakers.

78. Into the kitchen to grab some tongs.

79. Pick up the sneakers with said tongs & throw the sneakers down the basement stairs.

80. Place tongs in bleach solution to disinfect.

81. Out to the car to get the bins that I didn't bring in before.

82. Back to the basement to go through the bins that I have saved to see if I have the final bin I need.

83. Rejoice because saving something actually paid off.

84. Sort closet contents into bins, hang coats, replace games & other closet items.

85. Stand back and admire my new, clean, pretty and functional front closet.

86. The closet pole is still on the front lawn & the spray paint can is still on the front porch railing.

87. Decide to leave them there lest we create too big an expectation of tidiness from our neighbors.

TA-DAH!!!!! Fini.

Yep, still there.

*Whilst - how you can tell I've been reading Dracula.

I Stink At... Photography

I do, but I'm working on it. You may have noticed how bad I am already. Part of the problem is my camera (watch as I deftly shift blame) which is a cheap point and click. A nice camera is on my list of things to buy but they are really expensive. My sister has a wonderful camera so if I want the pics to look nicer I borrow hers.

Anyway, a large percentage of the problem is me. So I am attempting to learn more about photography, and rather than complain about my less-than-stellar camera, I'm going to try to get the best out of it until I can afford to buy a good one.  Here is the final edited picture. It's a little grainy because it's taken in the low light setting but I brightened it up... a lot!

The final edited picture.

One major problem is that my house has very little natural light. Below is a picture taken with the camera on the low light setting. I just cropped it, but I haven't adjusted it in Photoshop.

I was wondering why my pictures were coming out with this horrible yellow cast. Then I learned about this thing called White Balance. White balance is how your camera registers the color white in different lighting. My camera has different auto settings for the white balance. Below is the fluorescent setting.

It looks like I took the picture through a beer bottle.

This is a picture with the incandescent setting.

It's still terrible. I decided to set the white balance manually, which is easy to do on my camera. Below is a picture of my bright white mat board. You can see what one problem was. My camera had no idea what color white was.

This is a picture of a white mat board. Yes, really.

Here is an unedited picture taken with the white balance adjusted manually. It's still on the low light setting. It's better, but it's still very dark..

So I decided to use the flash. Now I've got the blues... It's kind of cool looking but it's not at all what I need.

Since the flash was obviously the wrong idea I left it off and decided to try it with the regular setting as opposed to the low light setting. Pics taken with the low light setting can be grainy and blurry. Here is a picture taken with the manual white balance on the regular setting.

There is virtually no difference between this and the low light setting except this image is sharper. 

It is dawning on me that I can't take a good picture inside my house with my camera. The most I can hope for is getting the colors close to accurate so I can edit it in Photoshop. 

So I decided to take everything outside for better lighting. I (hastily, it's been raining) set everything up on the hood of my car. Everything is wonky, sitting on a garbage bag, propped up with a piece of scrap wood and a gas can. We're a class act over here let me tell ya.

Wonky set up but it's the best lighting yet. Two seconds later a gust of wind knocked everything over and the cupcake landed upside-down on the gravel driveway. That was the end of my photo shoot.

Now I have to read more about photography, take more pictures and find more lighting so I can shoot inside. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be a wiz at photography by the time I get a decent camera. Here's to hoping.

See you tomorrow,

H

I Never Finish Anythin

I have decided to set a goal for my self. If you know me I'd appreciate it if you'd stop laughing. If you don't know me you might wonder what's so funny? Well, here's the thing, I set goals all of the time, sometimes I even strategically plan and make detailed lists with smaller sub-goals and time lines. I can spend HOURS planning. It's impressive. Then, after I've gone through all of the planning I start working on my goal. I finish brilliantly, accomplishing my task with pride, on time and... wait, nope, sorry, that's not me. No, what I do is lose the list, get distracted, get bored with the project, forget about it completely or decide that I'd rather be doing something else during the times when I should be working toward the goal. I imagine that people who both make and accomplish their goals are pretty self actualized. I wonder what that's like.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Oh, sorry, I'm back. I WILL FINISH THIS POST! FOCUS HEATHER, YOU CAN DO IT!

Anyway, I'm setting a goal and I'm posting it here. Important point: The fact that I've posted it here will not make me any more likely to achieve the goal. No sir, it doesn't work like that with me although I wish it did. No, I'm posting it here because I'm hoping it will remind me to work on it and I'm hoping that you might ask me about it so I don't lose sight of it. We'll see if this works.

My goal is centered around this:

No, it only looks like a yarn shop threw up on my bed, THAT is my pile o' projects. Five sweaters in various stages done-ness. That rainbow-y one just needs to be blocked and sewn together, it's been that way since 2008. The pink striped one was for Lucie, I started it in 2009, it's too small for her now so I'll be finishing it for my niece. I'm thinking of re-knitting the yellow one and I'd like to re-knit the mohair one but I'm not sure that I can unravel it without breaking the yarn. I have no plans to finish those anytime soon. 

Here is my goal: I will finish the pink sweater and the purple sweater by October 1, 2011.

This is the pink sweater:

I've finished the back and most of one side. I have the sleeves, collar and the second side to go. This is a really quick knit so it won't take me long.

This is the purple sweater:

I just have the button plackets to go on this one.

Both if these are from the book New England Knits by Cecily Glowik MacDonald and Melissa LeBarre. You can find both of them on Ravelry too. The pink one is the Melrose Peacoat, which I'm knitting in Classic Elite Duchess in the color cameo and the purple one is the Fairfield Sweater, which I'm knitting in Valley Yarns Northhampton in the color lavender. I LOVE this book! I love their other designs too.

Ironically, the reason that these aren't finished isn't because I'm a slow knitter, I'm actually very fast. I just get bored. The fact that I get bored with the project is really sad because this:

is the rest of my stash. That's eight projects worth of yarn that have been waiting for me to get my butt in gear. It's nice yarn too! If you know yarn you'll see that there is a sweater's worth of Noro Kureyon. That aqua yarn is Rowan Kid Classic and the light green in the front is Blue Sky Alpacas Silk Alpaca. Nice stuff that could be beautiful sweaters if I'd just knit them. Oy!

To make things interesting the sweaters are dusty because they've been in a basket in my living room, which means that I'm allergic to them. Yep, fun. I'm going to have to figure out how to de-dust them before I can knit them. At least I keep the other yarn in a plastic bin. That shows some planning. Whatever.

So, two sweaters done by October one. I just rhymed, did you notice?

How about you? Are you a self actualized person who achieves their goals or do you have a proverbial pile o' projects calling to you?

Until Monda

A Night in the Construction Zone.

So true.

I was snuggled in bed and I was about to drift off to sleep, having been somewhat successful in the pursuit of shutting my always-talking mind off, when I had the thought "Poop. I left the front door open.". Not the screen door, just the front door but it was unlocked and now I was having visions of being robbed or someone stealing my daughter from her bed and other happy thoughts.... *sigh* "I'm going to have to get up aren't I?" I mutter to myself as I find the will to move.

SO out of bed I roll. Beginning at the side of my bed I step over several plastic boxes of craft stuff which are there because we're working on the craft closet. I step on the dog (sorry Maisy) and into a laundry basket full of clothes whereupon I get to my bedroom door which won't open all the way since the chair is shoved against it because we're painting the trim on the wall where the chair belongs.

I squeeze out my bedroom door and bump into some trim leaning against the wall. The trim makes a loud clattering sound when I bump it, which I don't worry about because my family can sleep through a category five tornado. Then I start to make my way down the hall.

First I step around the shop-vac and scrape my foot against the tools on the floor. Then I narrowly miss gouging my hip on the boxes of flooring stacked on the side of the hall. Next I step on the dog (Sorry Ma.... wait, I just did that, how did she get here?) and now I come to the end of the hall which is blocked by a stack of two by sixes on one side and twelve-foot drywall on the other.

I then have to simultaneously step over the two-by-sixes while squeezing around the drywall and I'm nearly successful but I miss a little and get the edge of the drywall in the chest. Now I am in the living room and I can see the open front door. Whew! I'm almost there.

I step over the other vacuum (why are there two up here?) and bruise my shin on the microwave which is sitting on the floor of the living room (we're working on the kitchen, that's why). I move several bags of beach stuff out of the way and close the front door.... almost.... "What in heaven's name is in the way?, Oh" I move Isaac's shoes and then I close the door. PHEW!!! Mission accomplished.

I turn to head back to my room when it occurs to me that anyone trying to break into this house would be seriously injured before they even reach the hall. "And that is the upside to this disaster." I say aloud and oddly pleased with the thought of kidnappers with broken femurs and concussions, I pick my way back down the hall to my room.

Having successfully negotiated the obstacle course, I am now standing beside my bed listening to Hun snore. I realize that now that I'm fully awake I will be laying next to him for hours waiting for the next snore, getting angrier and angrier as I do. I will tell him to "roll over" and "stop snoring" several times and neither of us will get a good night's sleep. I won't sleep because I'll be so agitated with the noise and he won't because he's vaguely aware of the waves of annoyance rolling across the bed towards him.

SO, I take my pillow and head back over the plastic boxes. I do not step on Maisy (who has wisely removed herself from my path of pain) and I do not step into the laundry basket or bump the trim because I know where they are now and I head into Lucie's room.

"Ouch! Oooch! Eeeach! Owie!" I say as I step on all of the Barbie shoes and Littlest Pet shop accessories which are lodged in the shag carpet of Lucie's floor. I shove toys out of the way and start to roll the trundle from under her bed. I had thought that I had cleared a path but then I hear "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BANG! POINNNNNNNNNNNNNNG as Lucie's guitar slides strings-down along her desk and hit's the floor with a resonating thud. I don't worry about this because my family can sleep through the end of the world.

I climb into Lucie's trundle and am drifting off to sleep when I hear thudding and muttering coming from the other room. Roger appears at the door and says "Did you close the front door? I just heard a noise!" "That was me knocking over Lucie's guitar." I say (Apparently I was wrong about sleeping through anything). "Oh" he says and heads back to bed. The irony might amuse me but I'm tired. My last thought as I close my eyes is "If we have a fire we're going to have to jump out the windows so the firemen won't hurt themselves when they rescue us."

Tomorrow Lucie the bored will be guest blogging about her nice nighttime visitors.
H

Mackworth Island

Yesterday we went to one of my favorite places, Mackworth Island, in Portland. Mackworth Island is a lovely little trip. You can drive to the island (no kids on boats is a great, big plus for me) and then walk the mile-long loop. 


The wooded path is beautiful.

Don't you want to take a walk?

There are several beach access points along the way. 

You can't see the stairs on either side of the jetty leading to the beach

One of the beaches.

There is also a section where you can build fairy houses

Lucie, hard at work on a fairy house.

The finished house. If I were a fairy, I'd want to move right in!

One of my favorite things about Mackworth is it's a great walk for everyone. Little kids won't get too tired because it isn't that long and big kids won't be bored because there's lots to do.

My Niece for the "Little Kid" category and Lucie representing the "Big Kids."

Actually, I feel I should qualify that "even big kids enjoy it" comment. Isaac, my darling ray of sunshine,  does not like anything about woods, beach, outside or nature. He managed to carry on the entire time. His stream of consciousness went something like this: 
"Can we go now?"
"I'm thirsty I want a drink."
"THERE'S NO PLACE TO SIT!"
"I think I'm allergic to the sunscreen."
"I'M NOT SITTING ON THE STAIRS THERE ARE SPLINTERS IN THE STAIRS."
"I want to go to the Monster Store on the way home." 
"I'M NOT SITTING ON THE ROCKS, THERE ARE BUGS IN THE ROCKS."
"I need you to scratch my back."
" I want to watch some of Uncle Buck's movies when we get back."
"OH NO, NOT THE FAIRY HOUSES, I HATE THE FAIRY HOUSES!"
"I want to play Uncle Buck's video games when we get back."
"I'm soooooo tired mom."
"I want to take a shortcut back to the car."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO SHORTCUT BACK TO THE CAR!"
"I'm soooo hungry  I want to stop and get pizza."
"Well, does Auntie T have anything good to eat at home?"
"I HATE PB&J SANDWICHES!"
"Mother, I'm hot, it's sooooo hot out here."
"I think I need a bathroom."
"OH NOT ANOTHER BEACH! I HATE WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS TO THE STUPID BEACH!"
"I need hand sanitizer, I touched nature."
"Mother, I really, really hate nature."
"WHY DID YOU MAKE ME GO OUT IN NATURE, YOU KNOW I HATE NATURE."
"Rub my back please."
"No, rub my back here."
"Mother, I am very, VERY tired, you have no idea how tired I am."
"MY LEGS ARE GOING TO GIVE OUT, THAT'S HOW TIRED I AM."
"I want to read Uncle Buck's comics."


Can you see why we think long and hard before we take him places?


If you think I'm picking on him unfairly you should know that I just read that to him and he was laughing until he cried, then he said "Mom, will you rub my back?".


So I'll leave you with a picture of the three kiddos on one of the swings around the island. Isaac actually looks happy. He's faking.

Maybe that's a grimace.

Until tomorrow, 
H