I Hereby Resolve...

Not to resolve.

Nah, not this year. It doesn't seem to work for me. Actually, after reading the books Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business both of which I reviewed here: Three Life-Changing Reads  I learned that New Years resolutions rarely come to pass for anyone, especially if you over-resolve, which I have a tendency to do. My resolution list used to be pages long. I never accomplished it. Not once. Not ever. So I'm trying something new this year and not resolving. It's really hard for me. I want to resolve I tell you!

My lack of resolutions doesn't mean that I have no goals either for the year or in general. In fact, I have four goals... I guess three of them are more life-changes and one of them is a goal, if I'm going to be accurate. If I'm really going to be accurate I should mention that all of them are already well in process. They're more like pre-New Years resolutions/life changes that I've been working on for a while.

Want to know what they are? Well, hopefully you do because I'm going to tell you.

Life-Change 1: Both Hun and I plan to make more of our own stuff.

Remodeling the house isn't enough for us, we want to grow/make more of our own food, I want to make more of my own clothes (my children are too cool to wear stuff I make, can you believe that?) I want to make more of our own cleaners and personal care items, etc... I'm actually surprised at how easy making stuff is. Baking bread is pretty straightforward. Making Icelandic yogurt (AKA Skyr) is easy, peasy. Making more than a gallon of liquid hand soap from two bars of regular soap, thereby saving $$$ is a breeze.  There are so many cool things out there to try your hand at making yourself. I see soap-making in my future.

Besides, I like making stuff so this one isn't even all that difficult.

Life Change 2: Keep better track of our money.

I'm bad with money. Hun would be good with money except he has to contend with me and I'm bad with money. I know that the secret to this one involves two things: 1. managing our food expenses and 2. keeping track of the money daily.

I also know that the keeping track, for me, is going to involve a ridiculously simple, paper system, most likely involving a calendar and a notebook which will make absolutely no sense to anyone else but me. Anything that I've actually managed to keep track of successfully on paper looks like a notebook full of lines, abbreviations and doodles. I now know that I need to just give up on the notion that there's some fancy solution that either I can create or which already exists, and just do what I do.

Life Change 3: Be grateful and be content.

I'll hit this one in some later posts because it's big and it's the reason that I've been largely absent from this blog, and to a great extent from life, for most of the fall. I've been wrestling with coming to terms with the fact that my life is not going to look like what I had been dreaming it would and how I need to accept that this is my life and that it's a good one, even if it's not the one I dreamed of. I've been working through this since August and I think I'm finally in a good head-space now.

Goal: Fill my shop. 

I'm thinking of selling some handmade stuff too. I like to make stuff, why not sell it? Seems obvious when I think about it.

Those are them. Ta-dah! I'm pretty optimistic, mostly because I've already been somewhat successful... That's the upside of disclosing resolutions made months ago, I already know how I'm doing.

What about you? Did you resolve this year or have you never really resolved to begin with?

I have lots of "deep thoughts" posts in my head. I hope you like those posts. I've been doing a lot of thinking so I have lots of share.

Happy New Year!!!

H

The Bizarre Thought Process of a Skilled Procrastinator

It's OK if you tell me that I'm crazy after you read this.

It's also OK if you tell me that you can totally relate, we're not judgy here at Home Again Jog.

At any given time I have stuff to do that falls into four categories:

1. Daily routine stuff like laundry, cleaning, dishes etc... These are both necessary and productive and I really hate doing them.
2. Things that I need to do and want to do, like my classwork... This is also a productive use of my time.
3. Things that are fun to do that I don't actually need to do like the various craft projects... These are not an unproductive use of my time but they aren't technically my first priority.
4. One - time things that I really hate to do but I have to do because they're holding something up, like painting woodwork or mudding drywall... These are the worst because they're usually messy, boring, or fiddly or a combination of the three.

Now, a "normal" person (I have never actually met a normal person but I assume they're out there) would look at those categories and say something like "I'll get my housework done, then I'll paint some woodwork. After that I'll do a craft and tonight I'll do some schoolwork after the kids are in bed." or something like that.

But I am far from normal.

My mind says this: "YOU MUST DO YOUR HOUSEWORK BEFORE YOU START ANYTHING ELSE!!!" I don't know why, but it does. Weird right?

But I really hate housework. The reasons for this are straightforward: 1. it is never done (at least in this house) and 2. the "construction zone" themed decor never gives me a sense of satisfaction when I'm done... actually it makes it really difficult to tell when I'm done. I mean, have you ever tried to determine when a sub-floor in a kitchen is clean? It's not easy. I never get to look around and say "my what a pretty room :-)" because partially mudded drywall is never pretty. Yeah waa waa, poor me.

So this is what happens:

• My mind says that I have to do housework before anything else, HOWEVER,
• I hate housework. I feel like I need to get behind myself and shove myself off the couch to do it. SO
• Since I have to do housework first, but I really don't want to do housework do you know what I do? (if you said "something from categories 2, 3, or 4,?" you would be absolutely wrong.)

I am here, on my laptop, on the internet. Hello! I'm here! :-)
or now that we have cable (hooray. Yes, read that as sarcasm) I might be watching a Criminal Minds rerun, or locking my door thereafter.

Ironically, doing anything, even fun craft-type projects would be a better use of my time than checking Facebook again, for the millionth time. But I actually have to remind myself of this and I have to have the thought occur to me before I can even do that.

Yeah, it's weird. Thus the title of the post.

In light of this revelation brought to me by the wonders of metacognition*, I think I'm going to clean the living room enough so I can take some pictures in it without causing you to run screaming from your screen, and make Lu's bulletin board that I blogged about yesterday. I might even get to posting those pictures today (don't hold your breath though). OK,  for the record I have done some laundry today because my son asked me to do some (I'll take special requests for housework under threat of impending nudity.)

Do any of you have weird procrastination thought processes? Have you ever thought about it before? Hmmm....

I might see you later today,
H

*Metacognition is thinking about how you think. It's your $50.00 word for the day ;-)

20 Years with Hun!

I haven't had much to say lately, weird for me...

Anyway, yesterday was Hun's and my twentieth anniversary, WOOT! I thought that I would tell you our story.

We met in 1990 in Ms, Hardman's Jr. year Geometry class. He sat in the back corner by the window and I sat in the other back corner by the door. He will tell you that I was staring at him from across the room, I was actually staring out the window (that's my story and I'm sticking to it ;-) It took me most of the year to figure out who he was. It wasn't until a friend of mine told me that she was going to a dance with him that I put a name with his face.

I don't need to flirt I will seduce you with my awkwardness...

I was quiet and awkward in high school so when I decided to check and see if he was in fact the Roger that my friend was interested in, we had our first conversation, here it is verbatim.

Me - "Are you the Roger who's going to the dance with Danielle?"
Hun - "Uh yeah"
Me - "Oh"

Then I turned and walked away. No introductions, no "hello" zip.

Fantastic huh? It's a good thing he's into weird, awkward chicks.

Our first "unofficial" date was the Jr. Prom. Hun went stag and I ditched my uber-annoying date after I got there (he didn't care) and hung out with Hun. Our first official date was June 6, 1990 to see Total Recall, oh Ah-nald you're so romantic. Roger proposed senior year on my birthday and we got married about eighteen months later on May 30, 1992.

Heather's Observation: the amount of money spent on the wedding is inversely proportional to the length of the marriage.

Nah, I don't know if that's actually true, it just seems to be a phenomenon that I've noticed.

We had our wedding in the church we attended. The reception was in a tent behind the church. An elderly gentleman did our photos, all of the ladies of the church did a fantastic buffet of finger foods. A friend of a friend made the cake and a friend did the flowers. My voice teacher sang for us. I happened to be working at a bridal shop at the time so I worked for my gown and veil. My cousins Jon and Betsy gave us our honeymoon at their lovely B & B.

It was a great wedding. The people who loved us were there and a lot of them participated by bringing food, making favors, setting up, taking down, all kinds of ways. It was a nice celebration. It came to $1,200, take that Kim Kardashian.

Oh, and I'm still apologizing to my sister for making her wear the bridesmaid dress I chose. It looked like Victorian wallpaper. (Sorry T)

"Everyone who said it wouldn't work is dead now" Tink Bigelow.

Jim and Tink are friends of my parents who also got married at ages eighteen and nineteen. They've been married fifty-six years now. Yes, we did encounter some resistance to getting married. We spent the first few years of our marriage being annoyed at the "you'll never make it" pronouncements from some corners. One person actually recommended to my husband that we get a pre-nup. Think about that with two broke high-school graduates... Kinda funny. I will say that now that I have a daughter who is ten I can see their point.

We did stop regularly seeing the people who said we wouldn't make it, I mean, who wants to subject themselves to that kind of negativity? Unfortunately that has lasted to this day. It began as a conscious decision on the part of Hun but even though we no longer harbor any annoyance, we've never really re-established the relationships. It's a cautionary tale: be careful how you treat your loved-one's potential mate. If you were unkind and they get married then you might lose the relationship.

I tell my kids a version of that all of the time: "be nice, when you're an adult no one has to spend time with you."

Twenty years later, we feel we've proved them wrong.

I love you but I don't really like you... how is that possible?

Hun and I didn't like each other for the first five years we were married. I was manipulative, he was occasionally mean. We were stressed out. Never let anyone tell you that marriage isn't hard. We finally said the d-word after we found out that we were expecting Isaac. I remember sitting in an empty classroom at our college and saying "What are we going to do? We can't keep going like this." It was at that moment that we agreed that we didn't matter anymore, we were bringing a new person into the world and he deserved two parent's that loved each other.

So we shaped up.

OK, it wasn't quite that easy. We had to learn how to talk to each other and how to be patient with each other. It was work! It was worth it though.

My family likes Roger better than me...

Besides, if we got divorced, my family would have said "Heather! What have you done!" My mom and my sister would probably take my side, but everyone else... My dad thinks the world of Hun, my Grandpa loved Hun like he was his own so does my grandma. Hun lived with my great uncle and aunt for awhile and they loved him too. My cousin took Hun to New Zealand for two weeks. This doesn't bother me at all because I like him a lot too ;-) What can I say, I have good taste.

He dug his parent's basement by hand.

This is what I tell people when they ask what Hun is like. He's the sort of person who spent three years in high school with a shovel, pick ax, and a wheelbarrow digging a basement. That's a lot of dedication right there. At eighteen, he got a job working at a hospital so we could have insurance. He has always believed that it is his responsibility to provide for us. That's a pretty rare trait in an adult, never mind an eighteen-year-old. He consistently puts us before himself.

He puts up with me, a flaky, disorganized, fairly quirky wife. He's kind, patient, and  very funny. He's a great dad and a great husband and I have no illusions that I was the one who made out better in our marriage. He's one in a million and I'm blessed to have him!

Children learn what they live.

I'm sure that one of the reasons that we've had a successful marriage is because we both had parents and grandparents who modeled successful relationships to us. Roger's parent's have been married around forty years. My parents have been married for more than forty years. All of our grandparent's reached fifty years. They all had difficult times, they all pulled together when things got tough rather than pulling apart. They all treated each other with love and respect. They were teams. No matter what, they had each other. That's what we saw and that's what we do.

We've been through some tough times and we've had some sadness, I once had a friend who spends lots of time with Isaac tell me that raising Isaac, who is autistic, is a real testimony to the strength of our marriage. I had never thought of that as a test. Who knew? Through it all, we've always know that we could rely on each other.

So here's to twenty years with my best friend and favorite person! I hope to have way more than twenty more :-)

See you tomorrow!
H

Baseboard Envy

The psychological effects of living in a dump, that will be our topic for today.

When I look at the lovely homes in a magazine, or on my favorite blogs, or in my favorite books, do you know what I notice? The baseboards. Yep, that's right, I notice the baseboards... and I envy them. Boy oh boy do I envy them.

I have been living in a half-done house for more than eighteen months and to be honest, it's wearing on me. It's hard to keep my head up through this transition. Right now, one of the biggest features in my home is dirt and one of the biggest features of my yard is trash. Living in an unfinished house is depressing.

I consider myself to be a well-edited person. I LOVE to weed out, and by any American measure, I don't have a lot of stuff. But with my house constantly in flux, I don't have places to put what I have. Our stuff is out, stacked about the house. Tools are also a feature in here, as are building materials. No matter what I do, there is clutter and construction debris everywhere. In some ways it's become a part of the visual landscape, so I don't always consciously notice it, but I still know it's there, it's still a part of the scenery, and it's a drain.

So that's 1. dirt, 2. stuff, which means the third component of the depressing trifecta is the fact that so much is still unfinished. It's next to impossible to keep sub-floors clean. The lack of woodwork leaves the place feeling naked. I can't hang actual curtains on the windows. The walls aren't done in much of the house so no pictures, no painting, nada. We live in a dirty, junky, unfinished house.

I am convinced that people take on the characteristics of their surroundings. People who live under bridges look like they live under bridges, they act like they live under bridges, the smell like they live without plumbing. People who live in penthouses look like they live in penthouses, they dress like they live in a penthouse, they're groomed like they live in a penthouse. There are probably studies that corroborate this phenomenon but this is just something that I've noticed personally. I mean, how do you feel when you come home to a clean house? Or when you paint a room a color you love? Or when your muddy dog is lounging on your bed? How you feel is directly tied to the space you're in, right?

Right now I'm trying to present myself as something other than the product of a dirty, cluttered, and unfinished environment. I'm trying to help my children present themselves like they aren't living in a dirty, cluttered, and unfinished environment. It takes a lot of willpower and conscious effort to overcome how the house makes me feel. Being conscious of the effect helps but some days I just don't have the ability to push past it. I'm about to head to grab lunch in glorified pj's, bed socks and Crocs. I'm a fashionista, let me tell you.

The house effect kinda spreads out across other areas of my life. My house shouts "You're a lazy slob" to me. It says "Why should you exercise? You're a lazy slob, you should have a nap." "Why should you eat right? You're a lazy slob, have another cupcake." "Why should you launch a business? You're a lazy slob, you'll never make it, what's on TV?" "Why should you get off the couch? You're a lazy slob, the couch is your natural habitat." Now, on an intellectual level, I know that isn't true, but it still affects my state of mind and my actions. It even affects whether I feel like working on the house. You'd think I'd be motivated but it's so overwhelming that I can barely get started. For example, Lucie's room only has about one day's worth of work left until it's finished. It's been waiting there for more than a month now. I just can't find the will to start. Weird, I know.

This is why D-day is so exciting! Friday a dumpster that holds three tons of trash will be delivered to our yard and over the course of the week, all of the junk from the yard, all of the junk from the basement, all of the rest of the walls that need to be removed, the old kitchen and the stuff damaged in the flood in the basement, the living room floor, the brick around the fireplace, the rotten deck, all of the crap left over from the last owner, and anything else that needs to leave, will be tossed in the skiff and hauled away. It's going to be cathartic on a level that I doubt I have experienced before in my life! Getting rid of stuff always makes me feel light and happy so three tons worth (I actually doubt that we have three tons) I'll be floating to the moon!

I'm scheduling a delivery for the drywall we need for the walls for the day after the skiff leaves. We have the funds to get the flooring for the kitchen and the hallway too. I can't wait until the house is finished and I have walls, ceilings, floors, and yes, I dare to dream big, even woodwork.

If you PROMISE not to judge me, I will show you pictures of the junk-removal progress. I've shared a whole lot with you, I've put a lot out there so be kind!

Until tomorrow,
H

Why We Live Where We Live

Friday is D-day at the Boissonneau household. D-day is dumpster day, and it's a BIG DEAL!

Living for almost two years in a house that is a construction zone is incredibly difficult. I'm sure that there have been numerous studies done about how your physical environment affects your mental and even your physical state and I can certainly corroborate that feeling. Phew, it's tough. But more on this tomorrow.

I don't think I've ever really told you about our back-story and what led us to purchase our icky fixer-ixer upper. So, here goes...

Over the course of our almost twenty-year marriage (May 30th = twenty years! WOOT!) Roger has been laid off three times. It's part of the "fun" of working in technology. The first time was because the owner of the small company Roger was working for just up and closed. The second time was the dot.com crash in 2001 when he was out of work for eight months. This last time was 2008/2009, corresponding with the rampant unemployment and recession, and he was out of work for almost exactly one year.

I don't care who you are, if you don't have a whole lot of money saved up, having the primary breadwinner unemployed for any length of time will kill you financially. It happened to us three times and each time it was devastating. This last time I had the good fortune to get sick without insurance. So now we have some financial difficulties that we are in the process of overcoming. We have some debt and we don't have access to credit so we're are sort of on our own. Oh, we have the help of our very generous families too. I can't forget that :-)

Anyway, after that happened (three times) we are now VERY cautious about our bill to income ratio. We are very aware of how much we have for debt, we try to be very aware of what we spend and our mantra has become "NEVER AGAIN!" I've heard that there are a huge number of families in the USA that are literally one paycheck away from financial ruin. We used to be in that category, it did not work out well for us. Now we are determined to be able to afford to live on an unemployment check or working at an extremely low-paying job.

We can't control whether or not we have work but we can control our lifestyle. So we do.

Some of the ways that we've adjusted our lifestyle: we buy less stuff, we re-use and refurbish things, we learn to make things ourselves, and most importantly, we've adjusted our expectations. We've also learned to be careful about how we define the word "need."

We "need' a roof over our heads but it doesn't need to be big or fancy. So far, we only need 960 square feet. We "need" clothes but we don't need more than a few outfits, I mean, we can only wear one set at a time, right? We "need" healthy food and we feel we should learn to grow some of it ourselves. We "need" furniture but it doesn't have to be new and expensive. We "need" transportation but we don't need expensive new cars.

So when Roger was finally re-hired in September 2009, we decided that affordability was the most important factor in the house that we chose. We wanted to be able to pay the mortgage on a limited budget so that we wouldn't lose it if we were ever in that situation again. We also wanted it to be a home without anything significantly wrong with it. No electrical or plumbing overhauls please! So when we found our ugly little house we knew that it was the right one. It was ugly but it didn't need everything fixed and it was little so there was a definite upper-end to the possible renovation budget.

Since then we've been hard at work. We are removing all of the walls and we started to add two inches of studs to the exterior walls. We upped the insulation to a R-23 and filled all of the leaks. We're working on making the house energy efficient. We had to replace the kitchen, we still have to replace the bathroom, all of the floors have to be replaced too. We ripped the ancient oil furnace out and recycled the ugly wood stove in the basement so we could heat the whole house with wood. It's going to need new decks, a roof, appliances, and windows. We have a LOT of work to do.

There are some very positive outcomes from this experience. Honestly, I'd go through it again. Looking back at what I was like before these lay-offs, I realize that don't like who I used to be. I was never satisfied with what I had, I was impressed by money and status, I always wanted more and expensive. If you had told me ten years ago, that I would live in a tiny ranch by choice and that I wouldn't want something bigger/nicer/fancier, I would never have believed you. It took the adversity to create the positive change. I couldn't have gotten here without going through the testing.

OK, so, positive things. First of all, we have learned how to do lots of different things. I can hang drywall, I can mud it too. I can install a sink and lay flooring. Roger can do all of that plus framing and cabinet installation. We can design and build furniture. I can install crown molding and we both can do woodwork. We can install doors. Roger can do electrical. All in all, we feel pretty confident that we can tackle almost anything house-related.

Second, going through all of this has made me more easy-going and better able to roll with the punches. I have experienced troubles and I know that I can come out the other side a stronger and better person. Well, some troubles anyway. I've had other things that have happened in my life that only make me sad, that I don't think made me stronger or better... I don't want to issue a blanket statement that everything that happens to you makes you better and stronger. The financial troubles did though.

Third, I'm not nearly as materialistic as I used to be. Fourth, it's made me very creative as I try to make my home cute with little money. Fifth, it's made me sensitive to people who are struggling. All good things.

So that's why we live in an icky little house when we can afford a much nicer, larger home... with fancy things like floors and baseboards and non-rotten decks.

Living like this has a downside too, but that is for tomorrow's post, I've talked your ear off enough for today ;-)

Have you had any hard times that you feel made you better? Care to share?

See you tomorrow,
H

CCA - Compulsive Container Acquisition

Hello and Happy Monday!

Today I would like to discuss a phenomenon which, I believe, is common to many people with organizational difficulties. It's called Compulsive Container Acquisition or CCA for short (Okay, I made all of that up, but I still think I'm onto something)

The underlying belief of someone with CCA is that containers magically bestow organization. If you could just acquire the correct vessels for your schtuff, you would be organized. Now, most of us know that there's more to it than that, but gosh, it doesn't stop us from trying. I thought I would show six different types of containers represented in my house, and the thought behind their acquisition.

The thought behind acquiring cute containers is simple: "If the containers are cute then I will be inspired to use them." Since four of these containers are currently being used to corral stuff at my house I might think that there is something to that... were it not for the fact that I gave away about ten that I didn't use a few months ago. My personal experience is that "cute" and "organized" are not synonymous. This was confirmed when I checked the Thesaurus. What cute containers are is fun to buy! Then you end up with cute container clutter which kinda defeats the purpose.

Oh expensive. I think the thought behind buying expensive containers is that there must be a positive correlation between money spent and usefulness. "They're expensive so they have to work!" No, no they really don't.

If expensive was good, well free is AWESOME! It's like the gift of organization just fell from the sky and into your hands. "Free organizing containers! I can't POSSIBLY pass those up." I got these from my sister T over the weekend. She's organized, she used them. I'm not organized, I have no specific plan for them... They sure are cool though.

This one may be peculiar to people who live far away from IKEA. The IKEA container acquisition goes something like this: "What? You're going to IKEA? I HAVE to put an order in! hmmmm, what do I need? what might I need? Who knows? I know! I'll cover my bases by getting one of each."

Matching containers provide a sense of unity which must provide order, right? I mean, you can line them all up in neat little rows, that's organized isn't it? The problem for someone like me is that I try to put EVERYTHING into a matching plastic box. "Mom where are the tissues?" "In their plastic box." "Heather, where's the dog?" "In her plastic box."

"Recommended" meaning that someone who is considered an expert in organizing recommends a particular item. As soon as they do that, us non-organized people see that item as having the "Fabulous Organizer Seal of Approval." It's like being recommended by Oprah. It means that container is magical. If you buy it, you must be organized. How could you not? The organizing expert has it and they are. Makes perfect sense to me.

For the record, I have specific plans for all most some okay two of these containers. They are they key to being organized. I know it.

So there you go. Six types of containers acquired by those of us with CCA. Can you think of any I missed?

See you tomorrow!
H

2012 Here I Come!

Hey Everyone!

The pictures today are brought to you by my mum's Christmas tree and decorations before they go away for another year.

Sweet angels from Germany.

I can safely say that I have never looked forward to the changing of the year more-so than this year. For reasons that I will not divulge here, 2011 was the worst year of my life. I spent a total of one quarter of 2011 sick, sad, scared, and in pain, it wasn't fun. However, aside from some sadness that I'll always keep, it's over now, I made it through, and I am ready to move on.

Actually, I'm more than just ready to move on, I'm excited about 2012!

This is our EotS Zacore, AKA Zachary, as spelled by my then eight-year-old.
Slightly blurry, I need a tripod.

Despite it's worst year status, I discovered that there are a some things that offer redemption for 2011. The catalyst for this discovery was an exercise that Holly at Decor8 devised. She asked us to write a list of our accomplishments for 2011 to share on her blog. It was a really, really good exercise because it gave me perspective. It made me see that I did more than just survive this year, I actually accomplished some important goals.

Is there anyone who doesn't love Raggedy Ann?

"What did you accomplish?" you may ask... I hope you'll ask... please ask? Well even if you don't I'm going to tell you anyway.

That's one of the "Ten Swans a'swimming" that my mum made way back when I was little.

First, I started this blog. I've been meaning to start a blog for years, but 2011 is the year that I finally got around to it. I think that part of the reason that I finally started was the realization that my icky house gives me plenty of material to write about. As you may notice, I tend to wander off topic... often, but fortunately you don't seem to mind the occasional random musing (which is a very good thing.) You can tell that Home Again Jog is a work in progress. I feel like my entire life is a work in progress, actually I think that's how it life ought to be.

My Grandma made this one, it's wrapped in thread.

Second, I met you! Some of you are old friends, some are new friends, some are family members, and some of you are lurking in the shadows. Oh yes, I know you're here (my blog stats tell me so) and I'm happy that you are! I'd love it if you introduced yourself sometime ;-) I have to say that the best part about writing a blog is interacting with you! Without you this would be a diary... Actually it wouldn't even be that, I've never managed to keep a diary in my life... so without you, this wouldn't exist. Knowing that you're reading is what keeps me writing. So thank you for showing up and coming along with me!

Another "Made by Mum" ornament. I always remember this one being on the tree.
I think that these have always been some of my favorite colors.

Third, I took an e-course called Blogging Your Way. I KNOW, I know, I keep mentioning it but that is because it wasn't just a wonderful, inspiring course, it was also a catalyst. BYW reignited my interest in learning, my desire to challenge myself, and my desire to try new things! It was a turning point in my year. Holly and Leslie, did you know you were inspiring on so many levels? Prior to BYW I felt like I was stagnating. Feeling bored and blah stinks. BYW helped me to see that there is a whole world of possibilities still out there! It's a good feeling.

I've always thought the sleigh was pretty.
Directly below it is a glass ball made from some ashes from Mt. Saint Helen's

It also opened the way to meet some of the best people! I've met so many fellow bloggers who give me support and perspective and who graciously share their lives with the world at large. It's wonderful! So thank you all for that and thank you for being you, I'm so glad to have met you :-)

Another mum-made ornament. I like it but I've never been sure what it is...
Update: this is a lyre. It's amazing what you learn when you ask.

So I'm ready to begin 2012! I have plans that I'm excited about! And, as weird as it sounds (I can't believe I'm about to write this) I'm actually looking forward to turning forty. (I know, that is weird right?) So I'm going to share a couple of my plans for twenty-twelve.

I love this simple little tree with its tiny toys, it makes me smile :-)

One of the things that I put on my 40 X 40 is #16 - take seven online classes. What I neglected to mention when I wrote that is that I am already enrolled in four! (Yeah, I'm sneaky like that) When Blogging Your Way 2.0 comes around it'll be five! I'm taking a Photography 101 course that starts on January 2nd. In February I'm taking two mini-courses in Adobe Illustrator and in March I'm taking a course in table-top photography. April will bring the next Blogging Your Way course. After that I'll have to see. I keep finding classes that interest me.

My sister and I both want Humpty Dumpty. This guy has been our favorite since forever.

I'm planning to re-open my graphic design company Heather B Design. I'm leaning towards offering blog elements: headers, icons, titles, backgrounds etc... I hear that there are people who want some help. I obviously need to get my own "house" in order first, this blog is not an example of my best work. I'm also planning to learn everything I can about photography. I have a long, long way to go but I'm thinking the classes will help with that. I've already starting the process of rearranging the house for an office/craft space. Next week some guys who collect sheet metal will be moving a bunch of the "obstacles" out of my basement so I can get that underway. 

Yes, things are already in motion and the biggest pieces of these plans are the actions I take to see them through. I don't want to feel like life is "happening" to me anymore, I've had enough of that. I'm going to be involved!

Not an ornament but cute nevertheless.
Here is her royal fuzziness who is feeling much better. 

Well, that's all for this year (that's enough, right?) I wish you all the happiest of New Years! May 2012 be your best year yet and may you not leave the "best year status" to chance but may you find the inspiration and motivation to make it so!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

H

Finding My M.M.M.

My "Mechanical Martian Monkey?" My "Malodorous Mutant Mop?" "What the heck is an M.M.M.?" I imagine you're asking.

Well, let me tell you, an M.M.M. is a "Motivational Medical Malady" or, put another way, a medical problem that must be fixed through lifestyle changes. M.M.M.s are things like type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Maladies which can be controlled and reversed by a proper diet and regular exercise. Let me share this with you, I had been sort-of hoping for an M.M.M. for years...

Yeah, I've been fat and unhealthy for a very long time, and for whatever reason, I was unable (unwilling is more accurate) to get my act together and actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. So I was actually hoping that I would have a larger reason to make changes, beyond vanity, which, in my mind, was the only other reason to make healthy lifestyle changes. (It turns out that there are many good reasons to slim down and get healthy besides vanity, I was just being delusional.) Well wouldn't you know, an M.M.M. presented itself, lucky me. I guess it was bound to happen if I remained glued to my unhealthy habits.

As it turns out, an M.M.M. falls into the "Be careful what you wish for" category (go figure). I now have a kidney that is on the fritz. It hurts me. I currently have a hole in it with a tube coming out of it (TMI, I know, and it's as gross as it sounds). It can only be fixed with surgery and further prevented by drinking lots of water, diet and exercise. Oddly enough, it could have been prevented in the first place if I had done those things to begin with.

(disclaimer - not all kidney stones can be prevented, mine could have, but many can't.)

Now that I have my secretly-wished-for M.M.M. I realize how pathetic it is. The thought that being healthy and strong, and feeling good, could be worthy goals in their own right never really crossed my mind. I wanted to be thin, instantly, and if I couldn't be instantly thin then I was going to do what I wanted until it caught up with me! How idiotic is that? Go ahead, you can agree with me, I know it's true.

Since I'm fine with being a "cautionary tale" if it helps someone in the end, I'll be happy to be one for you if you need it. What's the saying? "No one is completely useless, they can always serve as a bad example." I'm a bad example, allow me to serve you :-) You don't need an M.M.M., you don't want an M.M.M.! Being thin is not the only reason to make changes to be healthy. As a matter of fact, if you eat right and exercise, you'll be healthy no matter what size you are. More importantly, you'll feel better and you will avoid the inevitable pain of poor choices. Poor choices WILL catch up with you.

Now is the time for me to make the changes!

I was inspired by Nichole Balch's 30 before Thirty list, which she did a couple of years ago. I find Nicole inspiring in general! She makes her lists and accomplishes them. She really has her act together. I love reading her blog. As expected, she did very well crossing things off her list. She's now doing a Lovely Life List, have a look and be inspired!

December 13th of this year, I'll be turning 39. On that day (Lord willing), I will be unveiling my 40 before Forty list. I'll have an entire year to complete forty items that I need to change or that I want to do. Some fun stuff, lots of important stuff, more than a few projects. Forty items. You had better believe that healthy lifestyle changes are on that list.

Wouldn't it be AMAZING to feel better and be healthier at forty than I did at thirty? I think it can be done!

Over all, I am hopeful. My M.M.M. did, in fact, motivate me. I'm grateful that it's something which can be fixed and then prevented. I am grateful that it will be over before too long. I am SO grateful that thirty-nine isn't too late for a fresh start!

Do you have a story about how you made changes to your health that you'd like to share? Email me and I may post them. It's a slightly different direction than I had originally intended for Home Again Jog, but I think it's valid. I'll call "Health and Wellness" an occasional detour, instead of a main focus. Unfortunately, in my current state, it's all that's on my mind, so it's going on the blog.

Be Well,
Heather

Determining Your Decorating Style Part Deux

Here's where I come clean. I'm am really, really good at collecting all of the pictures and the stuff that I love. I'm really good at finding themes and threads in the stuff that I've collected. But, I'm not so good at figuring out what to do with all of this information.

Design board I made for Lucie's room. Keep reading...

Part of the reason for this is the fact that I get stuck in a mental loop. I think "cottage doesn't go with modern. Does it?" "I can't have something that is both casual and elegant. Can I?" "Monograms shouldn't go on burlap. Should they?" See, I get stuck. I'm telling you this because you don't need to be stuck the way I get stuck. Stuck is in your mind or, rather, stuck is in my mind.

When I left you at step seven, you had just examined the collection  to see themes and threads and you were going to find another person to look at your collection to help you with that.

Not So Purple Kitchen Design Board. I might not do this after all. Oh fickle me.

Step eight - Now I want you spread your collection out in front of you. Then I want you to close your eyes and empty your head of any preconceived ideas about what goes with what, or what "style" goes with what "style" and start making groups. Sort them by rooms, sort them colors, sort them by collections, just sort them in ways that are meaningful to you.

This one is a little anemic but you get the idea.

Step nine - Create mood boards. I'm taking a fantastic class right now called Blogging Your Way on Decor8. (If you are ever planning on starting a blog, I recommend taking her class, it's extremely helpful.) Holly Becker, the author of Decor8, is having us do mood boards as a part of the class. That part of the class inspired me to try to clarify my own decorating style in this post. Then Joy asked me what I did to get to the "Cottern" conclusion and here we are.  I've sprinkled my own digital mood boards throughout this post (obviously) but here are some links to other blogger's mood boards:

• Here are Nicole Balch's "Making it Yours" mood boards on Making it Lovely.
• Here is the mood board gallery on Young House Love.
• Here is Holly Becker from Decor8 talking about how to make a mood board.
• Here is A Creative Mint which is full of the beautiful "Color Stories" which Leslie creates to inspire you,

You can use Pinterest to make your boards, you can use Photoshop to make them, but probably the easiest way is with poster board or on a bulletin board. That way you can easily arrange and edit the boards. Don't forget to add paint chips and fabric swatches that you'd like to include.

This is a practical board for my kitchen,
so I can see if the items I chose go together.

Step ten - Keep refining! Keep editing! Decorating is a process! Make it a goal to never be "done." I like to say that I'm "circling in" on my style. I'll always keep circling and changing and refining and so will you. We're always in a state of transition and so our individual style should reflect that.

The final and most important thing is HAVE FUN!!! Decorating is fun, enjoy it :-)

If you create mood boards, email them to me! I'd love to see them, I might even post them!

See you tomorrow,
H

Determining Your Decorating Style - Part One

Yesterday my friend Joy asked me how to figure out what your decorating style is. That's a really good question. There's so much out there right now that even figuring out what you like can be a challenge! I thought I'd share what I do with you.

So, without further adieu...

Step one, start with a box, a notebook, a file folder or receptacle of some kind. Here's mine:

This lovely box is made by the uber-talented Elissa Campbell at Blue Roof Designs.

Hey look, there are pages inside, go figure.

Step two, start collecting pictures of rooms that you like. Tear out magazine photos, print off pictures, cut up magazines, whatever. You can (and should) collect fabrics, paint swatches, ribbons, wallpaper swatches, whatever appeals to you. Here's the thing though, I don't want you to think too hard about what you collect. Just ask yourself, do you like it? If so, put it in the box! The point of the exercise is to collect things you respond to. You can have one general box or one for each room, however you want to do it.

I like the space on the left. I'm not going to tear it out because
I like the whole magazine. This is a special edition from Cottage Living.

Here is a bad picture some pages from the box.
Some of them are in plastic sleeves because I had them in a binder.
The woman on the left is Alexandra Stoddard, I find her inspirational!

Step three, join Pinterest and start pinning! Pinterest allows you to create boards and then lets you pin pictures to those boards from all over the internet. I have boards for most rooms in my house as well as a board called "modern cottage" for general decorating ideas. I have thirty-four boards where I pin all kinds of things.

Step four, collect your favorite things that you already own, arrange them prettily and take pictures. Add this to your  box or upload it to Pinterest. The point of curating your current favorite things is noticing themes that you may have subconsciously collected. I'm also a HUGE proponent of using stuff that you already have. Here are some pictures of my favorite things.

Step five, keep collecting for a while. You'll need lots of pictures to begin to see themes emerge and seeing the themes is the point of this exercise. Oh, feel free to edit stuff that doesn't appeal anymore. You may have an "I must have been sleep deprived when I thought I liked this." moment. Go ahead and chuck those.

Step six, start looking for themes and trends in the stuff you collect. Some of them will jump put immediately and some of them take some looking to find.  Looking at my collection you'll see that some obvious themes are shades of turquoise and pale greens (that one practically screams at you). What would also be obvious, if you could touch the items, is that the vast majority of the stuff is made of natural materials. You should have some obvious themes too.

I seem to like blue and green...

Maybe I should branch out a little. 

OK, this got fun. I'm stopping now.

Then there will be some less obvious themes. For example, my collection contains an Asian theme, with the antique Chinese basket, the mendhi blocks, the Serena and Lily block-print fabrics, the Japanese papers on Elissa's box.

Step Seven, have someone else look over your stuff to look for themes. Someone who's taste you trust. maybe they'll see something that you missed.

Possible themes include:

1. Colors 
2. Materials - wood, stone, plastics, mother of pearl, lacquer...
3. Metals - silver, brass, nickle...
4. Textures - smooth, shiny, rough...
5. Styles - modern, country, cottage...
6. National - African, Japanese, English...
7. Handmade
8. Cluttered vs. Spare
9. Wood finishes - natural, espresso, rustic, painted

There are lots more! Keep looking, think outside the box and you'll start to see them.

Collecting and looking for themes is the first part. The next part is putting it all together.

See you on Monday!
H

Heather's Law of Decluttering

It's my version of Murphy's Law as it relates to the act of decluttering. Ready? Here goes:

The effectiveness of your decluttering efforts is inversely proportional to the amount of aggravation you feel towards the clutter.

At least that's true of me. I am really frustrated with the amount of superfluous "stuff" floating around my house. First, I should give you some background information. Once upon a time, I went through an EXTREME minimalist phase. I owned seven pairs of black pants, seven shirts, one dress, seven pairs of socks & underwear, two pairs of shoes, two coats and two pairs of Pj's. That's it. My goal was to be able to pack all of my clothes in a suitcase and I achieved my goal. Crazy huh? My room had three pieces of furniture, a bed and two nightstands that doubled as dressers.  We each had a lamp, an alarm clock and there was one picture on the wall. We were very well-edited. I give you this information so you understand just how low my clutter tolerance is.

Lovely and zen-like storage from Storage and Glee.
I think you'd need pretty clothes to pull it off though.

My aggravation towards the clutter causes me to stand in the middle of house and make pronouncements beginning with the words "That's it." Not "That's it! I've discovered the formula for turning aluminum foil into gold!" more like "That's it! If you blow that whistle in the car again I'm going to throw it out the window!" My aggravated "That's it" pronouncements usually go something like this "THAT'S IT!" (I say looking at the piles of laundry) "Everyone gets two sets of clothes, one to wear and one to wash! How many articles of clothing does one person need!" or "THAT'S IT!" (I say as I survey the sink and counters filled with dirty dishes) "Everyone gets one plate and one fork, spoon, knife and glass and you are responsible for washing them between meals!" (Do I sound crazy? Wait, don't answer that.) Yes, when I am facing my clutter with extreme aggravation, I get the urge to throw the entire contents of the house into garbage bags and haul it all away.  My family has learned to ignore me when I do this, as opposed to my "Decluttering with Threats and a Garbage Bag" method of home maintenance. They pay attention when I do that. More on that below.

Elegant, handmade book covers from Paislee Press. I want to do this in my living room.

My penchant for attacking clutter while aggravated has caused me some problems in the past. "There!" I say with a self-satisfied smile, "Just look at how zen this room is. Now I will curl up on the couch with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa... or I would, except I threw them all out." I have actually wound up re-purchasing items which I have tossed in a fit of aggravated, reckless decluttering. My DH finds re-buying stuff very annoying, so I try not to weed out while aggravated too often.

A simple entryway from Country Living. It's such a cute idea.
Of course it would never look like that at my house.

I love what Porter Knight, a professional organizer who owns Organized by Knight, once told me. She said to be ruthless not reckless when weeding out. Ruthless is getting rid of stuff that you neither need nor use, even if it has sentimental value, it was a gift, etc... Reckless is getting rid of things that are necessary and/or important, even if they're not useful. Here's an example: Ruthless is tossing your "Guns and Roses" t-shirt (I'm dating myself) with the holes in it, even though it was the first concert you attended. Reckless is tossing the love letters your grandfather wrote to your grandmother. Ruthless s tossing your daughter's "My Mother Doesn't Want Your Advice" onesie with the stains on it. Reckless is tossing the heirloom, hand-smocked dress your cousin made for her. Ruthless/Reckless I tend toward the latter when I'm aggravated with the mess. Reckless = regrets.

I love the feel of this kitchen  featured at Design Sponge.
So simple, so calming, so zen... the seat cushions wouldn't last a single dinner
at my house. A girl can dream though.

Decluttering with Threats and a Garbage Bag

Here's another hindrance to my weeding out efforts: I have two children who really like their stuff and they have a lot of it. My kids are fourteen and ten and are old enough to be able to tell when I have edited their rooms. In the past I've gotten in serious trouble because I've weeded something important. I've reached the point where I can leave their stuff alone, provided it stays in their rooms. That's where "Decluttering with Threats and a Garbage Bag" comes is handy. 

I stand in the living room with a garbage bag and say (loudly), 

"You people need to get out here and bring ALL of your stuff to your rooms NOW or I am going to throw it out." 

............................. silence......................... then, 

"Did you say something Mom? I had my headphones on." 

*sigh* 

"I SAID YOU PEOPLE NEED TO COME AND GET YOUR STUFF OR I'M GOING TO THROW IT AWAY!!!"  

................. crickets chirping ................

"What? I was in the basement playing my game." 

*coughs, clears throat* 

"COMEANDGETYOURSTUFFORIWILLTHROWITALLAWAY!!!!!" 

.........irritated voices say,

"OK!!! Geez mom, don't have a fit."

Ah, the tweens/teens. Love it.

Once they've actually heard and processed what I've said, they hop to it. I have yet to actually place an item in the bag. This technique has proven very effective.

Shakers were practitioners of minimalism. Their designs are still lovely today.
from Coco & Me

So, I'm going to begin my decluttering exercise calmly at my front door. I will be ruthless, not reckless and I will be taking the fruits of my decluttering to Goodwill each time I'm in Augusta. That's the other place where I sabotage my efforts. I get it all weeded out and then leave it in my house. The hauling it all away is the crucial last step. I used to hire a friend to come over and help me weed every year. The rule was that she had to take everything with her when she left. She was always looking for stuff and I was always looking to get rid of stuff so the arrangement worked out well. Stuff symbiosis, every minimalist needs a friend who's a happy pack rat. 

So, do you want me to post some (bad) pictures of the process? It might make you cry. It might make you feel better by comparison, which is all right with me. 

Do you weed out & if so what techniques do you use? I'd like to know.

I Never Finish Anythin

I have decided to set a goal for my self. If you know me I'd appreciate it if you'd stop laughing. If you don't know me you might wonder what's so funny? Well, here's the thing, I set goals all of the time, sometimes I even strategically plan and make detailed lists with smaller sub-goals and time lines. I can spend HOURS planning. It's impressive. Then, after I've gone through all of the planning I start working on my goal. I finish brilliantly, accomplishing my task with pride, on time and... wait, nope, sorry, that's not me. No, what I do is lose the list, get distracted, get bored with the project, forget about it completely or decide that I'd rather be doing something else during the times when I should be working toward the goal. I imagine that people who both make and accomplish their goals are pretty self actualized. I wonder what that's like.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Oh, sorry, I'm back. I WILL FINISH THIS POST! FOCUS HEATHER, YOU CAN DO IT!

Anyway, I'm setting a goal and I'm posting it here. Important point: The fact that I've posted it here will not make me any more likely to achieve the goal. No sir, it doesn't work like that with me although I wish it did. No, I'm posting it here because I'm hoping it will remind me to work on it and I'm hoping that you might ask me about it so I don't lose sight of it. We'll see if this works.

My goal is centered around this:

No, it only looks like a yarn shop threw up on my bed, THAT is my pile o' projects. Five sweaters in various stages done-ness. That rainbow-y one just needs to be blocked and sewn together, it's been that way since 2008. The pink striped one was for Lucie, I started it in 2009, it's too small for her now so I'll be finishing it for my niece. I'm thinking of re-knitting the yellow one and I'd like to re-knit the mohair one but I'm not sure that I can unravel it without breaking the yarn. I have no plans to finish those anytime soon. 

Here is my goal: I will finish the pink sweater and the purple sweater by October 1, 2011.

This is the pink sweater:

I've finished the back and most of one side. I have the sleeves, collar and the second side to go. This is a really quick knit so it won't take me long.

This is the purple sweater:

I just have the button plackets to go on this one.

Both if these are from the book New England Knits by Cecily Glowik MacDonald and Melissa LeBarre. You can find both of them on Ravelry too. The pink one is the Melrose Peacoat, which I'm knitting in Classic Elite Duchess in the color cameo and the purple one is the Fairfield Sweater, which I'm knitting in Valley Yarns Northhampton in the color lavender. I LOVE this book! I love their other designs too.

Ironically, the reason that these aren't finished isn't because I'm a slow knitter, I'm actually very fast. I just get bored. The fact that I get bored with the project is really sad because this:

is the rest of my stash. That's eight projects worth of yarn that have been waiting for me to get my butt in gear. It's nice yarn too! If you know yarn you'll see that there is a sweater's worth of Noro Kureyon. That aqua yarn is Rowan Kid Classic and the light green in the front is Blue Sky Alpacas Silk Alpaca. Nice stuff that could be beautiful sweaters if I'd just knit them. Oy!

To make things interesting the sweaters are dusty because they've been in a basket in my living room, which means that I'm allergic to them. Yep, fun. I'm going to have to figure out how to de-dust them before I can knit them. At least I keep the other yarn in a plastic bin. That shows some planning. Whatever.

So, two sweaters done by October one. I just rhymed, did you notice?

How about you? Are you a self actualized person who achieves their goals or do you have a proverbial pile o' projects calling to you?

Until Monda